5 THINGS NOT TO DO BEFORE COOKING

There are three basic necessities in life but one’s ability to source the other two depends on if you have the most important of them all, Yes Food! That savoury temptation that has got us perusing menus at restaurant to find that exotic cuisine or running home to dearly beloved for some homemade recipe. We are all foodies but a plate of sliced meat, chopped onions and chilli’s served with raw rice would seriously harm your appetite. You have to agree that cooking is the world’s most treasured skill. Think for a minute, no other skill comes close to being possessed by nearly the entire earth’s populace but at some point, in one’s life, one must have dug not so deep to summon this culinary creativity. However, here are five things you shouldn’t do before cooking.

1.      Don’t mess with your taste buds

Except you are doing simple recipes like a cup of tea or frying eggs, you should stay away from things that sends your taste buds to limbo. Chewing stuff like bitter kola or simply brushing your teeth with toothpaste could make you lose your accurate sense of taste for some time and the danger of adding too much salt or spice is imminent. A costly mistake when you have in-laws or boisterous friends coming over.

 

2.      Cooking under the Influence

Have you ever gotten a ticket for driving under the influence (DUI), well in the comfort of your home kitchen it’s no holds barred because you are out of reach of the long arms of the law but you know what they say about Karma. So if you plan to cook under the influence of alcohol you could actually be putting yourself on the barbecue menu. If things get out of hand, you won’t have the time to blame yourself.

 

3.      When you don’t have the slightest idea

Unlike continental dishes, African dishes have a tricky recipe i.e., get all the ingredients right and add them in any quantity you prefer. Seems easy but if you do not have the expertise, you are sure to end up with sweaty brows and a tasteless mess. If you don’t believe, watch OAP Denrele cook the impossible on “Boys can Cook TV show” and gasp at the horror. Especially when you have hungry mouths to feed, it’s certainly not the time to experiment.

 

4.      Don’t cook with Distractions

The kitchen is always set apart. With the advancement of hand held streaming media devices the distraction is everywhere you go. I have a friend who cried her eyes out because of a breakup in a Zeeworld series while her noodles got burnt. Hey! I’m also a culprit. Remember when Chelsea won their first Champions league trophy, I slept with a tummy half full because most of my dinner burnt by passionate neglect. It was then I laid down this hypothesis, when you are excited by either positive or negative emotions, the more you perceive the smell of the burnt food, the more you are absorbed by such emotions until the aroma becomes pungent. By then it’s too little too late.

 

5.      Don’t cook with wrong emotions

From the hypothesis above you can deduce this. If you return home to a watery cuisine, it’s likely your wife is feeling unwell. If it’s too peppery she might be angered or suspicious. In the same vein, a girl so in love shows her affection by her cooking and same is applicable to a mother and her children. Low emotions can make your food salty, watery, tasteless or the combination of the three. While feelings of rage can make you cook meals that are fiery hot, peppery and spicy.

 

Here's a list of our top five ‘don’ts’ before cooking. Did we miss something? Feel free to expand the list. You never know who might be saved by heeding to your warning.